Funniest lines

Gazereths · Funniest lines

Just a quick one to ask which is your favourite/Funniest line of all time?

Mine would have to be : "The president is gagging on my gas bladder....what an honour!"----Dr Z

frys_red_jacket

i think its funny when bender says "bite my shiny metal ass"

Gazereths

What about "bite my glorious golden ass"?

Cloverfield

See my sig for one of my faves.

Gazereths

Yeah that one is good...but there's so many good 'uns, it gets kinda hard to choose.

" hey zoidberg get in here!"--Fry

"SCREW YOU!" Dr Z from outside the room.

That one liner cracks me up everytime

Sweetened Angel

alot of funny line. it hard for me choose.

jonnycat

Tough call. One that sticks out is when Leela punches Zapp, and Zapp responds "Lets try that again, but lower and alot softer".

Pazuzu

See my signature for my faves!!! Oh and of course the various occasions in Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles where the Proffesor shouts "Pazuuuuuuuuuuuuuzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" lol

Gazereths

I suppose you want to see my old crotchety discount card?

Might not have got that one right but it's something like that!!!

Ace

Golden Benders bite my glorious golden ass!

Gazereths

Eveyones always in favour of saving hitlers brain...but when you put it the body of a great white shark ...ooooooooooh suddenly you've gone too far!!

-Prof F.

The dance that fry does in "jurrassic bark" cracks me up too!

Anyone know the song that he plays then?

TinnyTim

Gazereths

Sweet...gonn download it now!!!

TinnyTim

Leela: "I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can."
Professor: "You're going to do his laundry?"

ironik

farnsworth-you must take him to his ancient home world, which will soon erupt in an orgy of invertebrate sex
fry-ohh baby im there
lela-fry, dont you you even understand the word invertebrate?
fry-nope thats not the word im interested in.

Gazereths

Thats a classic line!!!!!

What about... " those haven't decended in years" --- Hermes

If you dont understand this they probably haven't decended yet!!!

ironik

Bender: I was God once.
God: Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died
or Chief Giant Brain: What do you want?
Fry: I'm here to kick your ass!
Chief Giant Brain: Wishful thinking. We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses.

Gazereths

ha ha ha !!!!

'now i am leafing earth for no raisen!!'

timeisanenemy · too many

there are too many good ones to have a favorite, but i like it when cubert says "your explanations are pure weapons grade bolognium"

timeisanenemy

or this one:
Leela: This all must have something to do with the secret ingredient.

Fry: My God. What if the secret ingredient ... is people?

Leela: No. There's already a soda like that: Soylent Cola.

Fry: Oh. How is it?

Leela: It varies from person to person.

Pazuzu

Oh, oh, oh... the monologue by Zoidberg at the end of Love and Rocket...
As the candy hearts poured into the fiery quasar, a wondrous thing happened, why not. They vaporised into a mystical love radiation that spread across the universe, destroying many, many planets, including two gangster planets and a cowboy world. But one planet was at exactly the right distance to see the romantic rays, but not be destroyed by them: Earth. So all over the world, couples stood together in joy. And me, Zoidberg! And no one could have been happier unless it would have also been Valentine's Day. What? It was? Hooray!

lol

timeisanenemy

Nd-Nd: Little one, get out of there. I'm going to count to blorx!
Jrrr: But, elder one--
[Nd-Nd starts counting off her fingers.]
Nd-Nd: Flingle ... glorg ... glorg and a gloob.

Gazereths

Pazuzu

Monique: [on TV] Calculon? But I thought you were--
Calculon: [on TV] Egyptian?

Leela: Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV?
Cubert: Um, we're 12. So, yes.

Bender: Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
(All from Bender should not be allowed on TV)

beano2

Cloverfield

I have that saying and Bender on a massive poster on my bedroom wall

Sweetened Angel

Cloverfield

It's great.

timeisanenemy

heheh.. i was sitting in the airport waiting for my sis the other day, and that quote just popped into my head every few minutes (lots of misbehaved children at the airport)

Gazereths

is it shiny and metal tho? LOL

beano2

Guest

wat i love is they entire robot devil song

Gazereths

"mmmm...deep fried robot" "my ass has blisters from the slide"

wwwwNAMEwwww

my favorite is one of the lines in the opening that was something like

Futurama: available in double vision where drunk

Gazereths

Yeah that was a great opening "futurama:beats a hard kick in the face" i think that was one..or am i making things up again!!!

smellydog

There are so many great lines to choose from so I don't really know where to start!!!

The line that gets me every time is "Bite my shiny metal arse" this is just Bender in a nutshell!!!

Cloverfield

Yeah, that is probably the most classic line of the show.

Gazereths

And the most often repeated.

ironik

heres another good one LOL

Farnsworth: Oh, that poor, sweet monkey. Well, let's go gather him up. There's no sense letting him go to waste.

Gazereths

*licks lips*

wwwwNAMEwwww

this is my favorite segment:

Hermes: (shouting) I'm going to jump!

[The staff look up from street level.]

Amy: (shouting) No!

Zoidberg: (shouting) No!

Bender: (shouting) Do a flip!

Leela: (shouting) Don't do it, Hermes! You have so much to live for.

Bender: (whispering; to Leela) I get it, reverse psychology.

Farnsworth: (shouting) Please, old friend, don't jump. Use another method that won't damage your liver. Other people need it, you know.

ironik

Bender: Lick my frozen, metal ass

Gazereths

Hermes: " when i get out of here that zoidbergs gonna be looking down the business end of a shrimp fork" something like that!!

Pazuzu

The modern world can bite my splintery, wooden ass!

Ace

Bite my glorius golden ass! Or: Hello peasants

Gazereths

"cheese it" "roooobooot hooouussee"

Ace

Leela: Someone should teach you a lesson
Zapp: If its a lesson at love watch out I suffer from a very bad sexy learning disorder. What do we call it Kiff?
Kiff: eeuuugggh. Sexlexia

1B-DI

Yeah, my sig is one of my favorites. There are so many great quotes from the show it's hard to keep track of them all!

But this bit from "Spanish Fry" had me rolling:

Fry: Wait! Listen, I'm usually the first to toot my lower horn.
Bender: I'll say. Woo!
Fry: But in this case, I just don't think it's going to do any good.
Bender: That's what she said. Woo!
Leela: Lets face it, you two have relationship problems that can't be solved by an aphrodisiac.
Fry: However huge it might be.
Lrrr: Mmm. This jerked chicken is good. I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked.
Bender: It's used to it! Woo!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fry: Yes! I never thought I'd escape with my doodle; but, I pulled it out.
Bender: Just like at the movie theater! Woo!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leela: Well Fry, it looks like you get to hold on to your lower horn.
Bender: As usual! Woo!

Cloverfield

Wooooo,

Gazereths

"I get to keep my lower horn as long as you two end up doing the horizontal monster mash" "woooooooo.hahaha....i dont get it" LOL

Pariah

Ha Ha. Still I like the classic "Bite my shiny metal ass". Or Bender's top 10 things he says the most.

Gazereths

"They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps...so here's the professors oldest friend...a grotesque stinking lobster"

gort

Morbo: " That is not how windmills work!"

Don't know why, but the way he says it cracks me up....plus about an eleventy billion more!

Gazereths

I know what you mean...its so hard to choose a favourite among thousands!!!

"thats what i wanted you to think wih your soft, human brain" - Calculon

1B-DI

gort

Good one....

futurama rules

I like my ass has blisters from the slide

and

I have brain in my butt crack

frys_red_jacket

Fry: "Bender what's wrong?!"
Bender: "It was horrible ones and zeros everywhere and i think I saw a two."
Fry: "Its ok Bender there's no such thing as two."

this was pretty funny

bitemyshinymetalass

bite my shiny metal ass, as my name suggests

futurama rules

I also like

FRY: Whoa! Letters like 'u' and 'r' can mean words like 'you' and 'are'!"

FRY: "Words. Nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter orange wax in my ears."

Santa: I'm not here to kill you, Bender! I need you to help me save Xmas.
Bender: Gee whiz, Santa! You want me to help you?
Fry: Don't do it! He's evil!
Santa: I know he is but I have no choice.

addmyster

Farnsworth: You killed me! ohh.... You killed me!

Leela: Oh my god what have i done!

Farnsworth: I just told you! You killed me!

gort

Nice post Addmyster LOL..........................just the one though, I guess....wait.....joined in September???? Just now posted???? UM........

Cloverfield

Wow, one of the first ones and he's only just posted.

gort

We can expect another great post in July.......can hardly wait!

frys_red_jacket

LOL!!

Cloverfield

gort

What are the other two.......and how could you POSSIBLY select from SO many?? LOL

Cloverfield

I don't know

. I just no its up there.

gort

Well
Thank you *bows*

I'm honored *choke*

Cloverfield

You literally choking?

gort

Nah.....I wish........

In the old E.C. comics of the 1950s, they would say *choke* when a character couldn't talk because of emotions, or seeing something gross, or actually choking!!
For example....when finding a dead, mutilated body......they would say....
"Good lord.....choke.....he's....DEAD!!"

Any of that make sense to you?
It does to me.

Cloverfield

I know, i was just screwing with you. *choke* an a-bomb arg. From the simpsons when bart buys the first radioactive comic.

gort

Oh...okay!! I used to be a comic book geek without the geek part. Hard to do, but I managed!

Quick question....if someone is in the elite section what does it show on your "who is online" section.....forum index ( for example ) or what? Ya follow me?

Cloverfield · gort Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:22 pm Elite Membership

gort Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:22 pm Elite Membership

gort

I see!!!
Okay....

bitemyshinymetalass

fave line: bite my glorious golden ass!

Gazereths

*Phone rings* "what???, you say if i testify I'll be killed????...Oh it's for you" --- Judge whitey.

1B-DI

High Priest of Osiris IV: Great wall of prophecy, reveal to us God's will, that we may blindly obey!
Other Priests: Free us from thought and responsibility.
High Priest of Osiris IV: We shall read things off you!
Other Priests: Then do them.
High Priest of Osiris IV: Your words guide us!
Other priests: We're dumb.

gort

Fry...."They're like sex, but I'M having them!!"

Popplers...

1B-DI

Morbo: Ha ha ha. Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain.

Pazuzu

gort

I thought maybe you would be offended by that, Paz!!

Glad you're not!!

Guest

This right here may be the greatest lines ive ever heard in this show.

Fry: Yeah, uh, I'd like a cup of coffee, please.
Coffee Machine: Would you like cream?
Fry: Yes, please.
Coffee Machine: Out of cream!
Fry: Oh, uh, OK.
Coffee Machine: Would you like sugar in your coffee?
Fry: Yes, uh, eight spoons.
Coffee Machine: Out of coffee!
Fry: Uh, Leela, I think there might be something wrong with the coffee machine.
(Fry Gets Sprayed)
Coffee Machine: How do you like me now?

frys_red_jacket

i remember that one, very funny

Cloverfield

nice one TFFA.

Pazuzu

Gazereths

"I'm a real toughie"........."i will destroy you.....and stop calling me" LOL the gender bender is funny as hell!!!

gort

Well I think it's obvious that you are a church going gal.....so I was surprised that you thought that was funny!!!

Pazuzu

I don't really care about people making fun of the church in that way... I know they don't mean any harm, plus really funny... our church isn't anything like that though... but some are which is why it's funny

gort

Good attitude.

Clearly not a mormon or a catholic.

Pazuzu

Nope, officially I'm Anglican, but i don't really think of my self as Anglican... I think of myself as Christian!

I go to a mixed Anglican and Baptist church... we have a really cool youth group there

gort

So, you're our little angel!!!!

Yay for us!

I'm Gnost extant illuminati

Gazereths

"Now show us the killing skills that made you a media darling" That line always cracks me up!!!

1B-DI

[Fry and Leela have locked some monks in a laundry room.]
Monk: Let us out! We cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them. Now we're bored!

Gazereths

another shoe eating referance.... "i still feel like having a shoe"...when fry and leela are trapped in the tar pit..Just before they find sly stallone's skeleton....

gort

Name all the things Fry WON'T eat.

Didn't think so.

1B-DI

Good one!!

Gazereths

A big heaping bowl of salt....Oh wait!

gort

Ham gum......but it's mostly bones...

That's what prompted my post.

YUP....ham gum.

Yeah.

1B-DI

*shudders*

That's disgusting. That episode disturbed me. Just because of the ham gum.